


(My Heart Learned of) The Human Concept Known as Love

by BitterUnicorns



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: (But like only mentioned in his username lol), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, K1-B0's name spelled as Kiibo, Kokichi's name spelled as Ouma, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Nonbinary K1-B0 (Dangan Ronpa), Other, Trans Saihara Shuichi, baby's first fic, but only partially?, chatfic, idk it's fucked, like half chatfic half prose, no beta reading we die like men, song lyric chapter titles because im a weeb, switching POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25725406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterUnicorns/pseuds/BitterUnicorns
Summary: K1-B0: Saihara has stood up for me and done so many incredibly kind things for me… I feel awful exploiting this generosity, but I fear it is necessary if I ever want to make my feelings known!K1-B0: If he were to believe that you were making robophobic remarks about how robots "cannot experience love," I could approach him and ask that he practice date me to prove to you that I am capable of such relationships!pantafucker69: okay so how long have you been practicing that monologueK1-B0: …That is unnecessary information.Or, in other words: Kiibo picks the worst approach, and the worst wingman possible, in their attempt to woo the Ultimate Detective.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede & Saihara Shuichi, K1-B0 & Oma Kokichi, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 20
Kudos: 152





	1. I Come in Peace But Lead Your Defenseless Heart Astray

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there y'all my name is Bee and I'm a slut for Saiibo
> 
> I don't know how many chapters this is gonna have but im thinking around 5 probably??? We'll see where it goes lmao
> 
> Have fun cringing @ me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo has a proposition for their to-be partner in crime.

K1-B0: Ouma, I never thought I'd say this, but I need your help.

pantafucker69: oh??? and what could kiiboy possibly want from lil ol me

K1-B0: You're… Good at lying, right?

pantafucker69: um DUH youve met me, you know the answer to that

K1-B0: As… Needlessly robophobic as it is… Agh, nevermind, I'm having second thoughts.

pantafucker69: WHAT?? cmoooon you sack of bolts you can't just lead me on like that! you got me aaaall curiooouuus~

K1-B0: And now if I don't tell you, I'll never hear the end of it… Any plan that requires your cooperation in the first place is an awful idea. Especially something so personal…

pantafucker69: owo? personal? don't tell me…

K1-B0: Oh no.

pantafucker69: AWWWW LITTLE KIIBOY'S FIRST CRUSH!!!

K1-B0: No!! It is not about that!!

K1-B0: Actually, I… Suppose it is.

pantafucker69: HAHA OH SHIT I WAS RIGHT so who's the lucky human??? if its miu amami owes me a BIIIG favor!!

pantafucker69: or are you crushing on a roomba??? true robo-love, nishishi!

K1-B0: It is neither of those two! That was an incredibly robophobic remark, by the way!

pantafucker69: spill the beans!!! the suspense is killing me!!!

K1-B0: ...Agh, fine. But you have to promise not to tell anyone! Not even your so-called organization!

pantafucker69: my lips are sealed! zip zip! not a word comin' out of these babies!

K1-B0: …

K1-B0: I believe I have developed romantic feelings towards Shuichi Saihara.

pantafucker69: HAHA YES THE BLONDE BITCH TOTALLY LOST!!! SUCK IT "GIRL GENIUS"

K1-B0: How many bets regarding my love life have you made?!

pantafucker69: Kiiboy, you just made me ¥5300 and 5 bottles of soda!

K1-B0: Do not dodge the question!!

pantafucker69: too late! nishishishi!

pantafucker69: soooo anyway what do i have to do with this

K1-B0: Well. I would like to ask Saihara out. Romantically.

pantafucker69: mhm

K1-B0: But I am concerned that suddenly coming to him with such a large request could seriously damage our current friendship!

K1-B0: So I have developed a plan.

pantafucker69: um i thought I was the criminal mastermind here??? hello????

K1-B0: Saihara has stood up for me and done so many incredibly kind things for me… I feel awful exploiting this generosity, but I fear it is necessary if I ever want to make my feelings known!

K1-B0: If he were to believe that you were making robophobic remarks about how robots "cannot experience love," I could approach him and ask that he practice date me to prove to you that I am capable of such relationships!

pantafucker69: okay so how long have you been practicing that monologue

K1-B0: …That is unnecessary information. 

pantafucker69: soooo way too long, got it

pantafucker69: eh, sounds fun, I'm in!

K1-B0: Wait… really?

pantafucker69: pssht yeah??? i hardly even need to act! and i'll get some seeeerious blackmail material if he ends up not taking the bait!!

K1-B0:

K1-B0: …Please don't make me regret this decision.

K1-B0: So, here's our story. If anyone asks.

Kiibo sighs, closing out of their messaging app. Ouma knows the cover story, so they've really hit the point of no return now. They flip over in bed so that they're facing the room. It might be a little weird for a robot to lay in a bed, but it's more comfortable to charge here than the hard floor. And… it makes them feel more human. They reopen the app, and move to their conversation with Saihara. 

It should be simple. Inform Shuichi Saihara about the awful comments Ouma has supposedly been making about your love life. Once he responds with his beautiful, overwhelming kindness and sympathy, ask him as gingerly as you can to go out with you.

In a fake way, of course.

Anxiety pools in the pit of Kiibo's nonexistent stomach as their metaphorical finger hovers over the send button. Seeing as the messaging is built directly into their systems, they don't technically need a phone for this sort of thing - it just shows up in the corner of their vision, like a small menu in a video game.

Kiibo hits send.

K1-B0: Saihara, I have something quite odd to ask you.

BeTransSolveCrime: What's up, Kiibo?

K1-B0: It is… About some comments Ouma has made regarding my status as a robot.

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh no, what did he say this time? Do you need Maki to step in?

K1-B0: No! Her interference is unnecessary. This is a rather personal question.

K1-B0: Ouma has… Made some incredibly robophobic comments about my… supposed lack of capacity to have romantic feelings for another.

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh, are you aromantic, Kiibo? I had no idea!

K1-B0: No, I am not, and that is the issue! I do desire a romantic pair bond with someone else, but he refuses to acknowledge this! Which is why you are the only person I can ask of this.

K1-B0: Shuichi, will you fake date me? Simply for the purposes of showing him that I am capable of such a thing! I understand if the concept makes you uncomfortable, so please do not feel pressured into saying yes!

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh.

BeTransSolveCrime: Well. Um.

BeTransSolveCrime: Okay. Yeah, I'll do it. I can do that for you.

BeTransSolveCrime: It's sort of like… Acting like really close friends, right? That's totally doable.

K1-B0: You have my deepest gratitude, Saihara! Now, first things first, we should most likely discuss PDA boundaries! How do you feel about hand-holding?


	2. This Pounding Feeling Between Us, Still Unidentified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo and Shuichi walk to class. Ouma ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised more Shuichi and I shall deliver!!!! Here's a Shuichi centric chapter!! I hope you enjoy!

BeTransSolveCrime: KAEDE

BeTransSolveCrime: KAEDE I DID A STUPID IMPSULIVE THIGN

PinkPianist: alright, slow down. what happened?

BeTransSolveCrime: IM FSKE DSTINGB KIIBO??????

BeTransSolveCrime: [screenshot]

PinkPianist: you WHAT???

BeTransSolveCrime: I DONT KNOW ITWAS SO SUDEEN AND THEY SOUNDED SO HHURT ANS I COULDNT JUST TURN THEM DOWN LEIKT THAT!!!

PinkPianist: okay shuichi, calm down.

PinkPianist: do you want to date Kiibo?

BeTransSolveCrime: I guess????

PinkPianist: do you or do you not

BeTransSolveCrime: Um. Well.

BeTransSolveCrime: It's complicated.

PinkPianist: in what way?

BeTransSolveCrime:

BeTransSolveCrime: I don't know.

PinkPianist: oh my GOD shuichi??? you know how these fake dating stories end!!

BeTransSolveCrime: Actually, I really don't. I've… Never been interested in the genre.

PinkPianist: 90% of the time the two people fall in love!!! shoot your shot!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: Kaede! That's not what I meant at all! I'm not interested in dating them for real!

PinkPianist: yet ;)

BeTransSolveCrime: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

PinkPianist: ;;)))

Shuichi groans and resists the urge to toss his phone across the room. He doesn't like what Kaede is implying - imagine! Imagine how rude of him it would be to develop a crush on Kiibo because they trust him enough to 'fake date!' That would totally betray their belief in him! Good thing it's not happening any time soon…

Shuichi looks up at the clock in his dorm and frowns. Almost time for classes already, huh? If… If they're for real about this charade, Kiibo probably wants to walk together, don't they.

BeTransSolveCrime: Hey Kiibo, wanna walk to class together? I'm about to head out.

K1-B0: Yes, of course, Saihara! We can walk side by side… As is expected from couples our age!

BeTransSolveCrime: Um. Yeah.

BeTransSolveCrime: And, you know… You can call me Shuichi, if you'd like.

K1-B0: Really? Thank you, Shuichi! I will meet you at the North entrance of our dorm building!

Shuichi lets himself softly smile at how giddy Kiibo always seems to be about new things. It reminds him of a curious puppy… Shit, right, class! He throws on his hat and shoves his books into a messenger bag that he promptly swings over his shoulder, and all but runs downstairs.

When Shuichi makes his way down to the entrance, Kiibo is already waiting for him, bouncing on their heels and smiling brightly.

"Good morning, Sai-" They stop, blink a few times, and - is it robophobic to call it autocorrect? - let their processors catch up to their mouth. "...Good morning, Shuichi."

Shuichi can swear he sees Kiibo's face go a bit bluer in tone at that. He's not sure why Professor Iidabashi made them blush blue, but… it's charming.

Wait, no, this is fake. Don't you dare start having those thoughts this soon, Shuichi Saihara. If nothing else, for the sake of spiting Kaede.

"Sh-Shall we?" Is what he settles for, adjusting his bag across his torso and taking a deep breath.

Kiibo straightens up. They were spacing out for a moment… maybe checking something? Texting someone? Whatever, it's not time for detective intuition right now. None of Shuichi's business anyway.

Kiibo hangs closely by the detective's side as they make their way to the math classroom together. The two wind through multiple outside paths before entering any sort of building - Shuichi wonders if they notice he's taking the scenic route. At some point, they get fidgety. One glance up and down, and Shuichi hears their hand making a dull metal clanking noise against their thigh. Ah, if they don't know what to do with their hand, that must mean…

Evidently, whatever train of thought Kiibo had is completely derailed when Shuichi grabs hold of their hand, meeting the robot's flushed surprise with a curious expression of his own.

"You know, if you're serious about this, we… probably can't act like we've never held hands before." He sheepishly smiles, hoping that he got it right rather than making a fool of himself.

"R-Right, of course!" Their fans whir white noise under their voice, fighting the heat generated by having their mind running a mile a minute. Bingo. Saihara is about to quietly celebrate his accurate deduction when-

"Well well well! If it isn't the two lovebirds!" With completely awful, terrible, worst-possible-moment impeccable timing, Kokichi Ouma rounds the corner with a sing-songy tone of voice. Kiibo's artificial sweat begins to pick up. Shuichi stops, takes a breath, and proceeds to physically steel himself for the confrontation by pulling the brim of his cap down.

"Hello, Ouma." He simply starts, turning his head to side eye the supreme leader.

"Soooo, a little birdie told me the two of you started dating!" He grins devilishly at Kiibo, who looks betrayed, mortified, and anxious all at once. Hm.

Shuichi narrows his eyes. He only told Kaede, so unless Kiibo already told Ouma themself, where did he… "Wh-Where did you hear th-" The robot sputters, only to be quickly cut off. Ah, so it wasn't from Kiibo then? But… Who would Kiibo have possibly told?

"A little birdie! Jeez, is your hearing system all fucked up again, Kiiboy? You need to go in for more maaaintenaaance?" He reaches up to grab Kiibo's earphone, forcing them to bat away his hand. "Whatever! Anyway, I won't believe it til I see it!"

"A-And what in the world could that possibly mean?" Kiibo stammers out, cheeks steadily shifting to a deeper teal. "We're right here, aren't we?!"

"I meeeeaaan, I won't believe you two are dating until you do something totally romantic! Like, yaknow, smoochin'!"

"Ouma, please," Shuichi starts, glaring at him from underneath the hat with an uncharacteristic pink glow to his face. _I'm… Blushing because that's an embarrassing thing to say to ANYONE! Of course it's reasonable that I blush!_ Is the best defense Shuichi can come up with.

Kiibo stops in their tracks, and Shuichi is worried that if they stew anymore they're going to overheat and die. Right… They agreed when they first started… Hand holding and hugs are fine in public, but kissing of any sort… Shuichi thinks it'd just be too much for him.

"Hmm? Please what? Are you too shyyyy? Or are you two not actually dating, nishishi~?"

"W-We are!" Kiibo pathetically retorts, face flushing as deep as Shuichi has ever seen. "Must we prove it to you?"

"Yeeep! Or else I won't let you by! You don't wanna be late to class, dooo you? Imagine the rumors that'd start! A new couple showing up late to class, sweaty and disheveled?" Ahh, right, Shuichi ran downstairs. Now that he thinks about it, he does look a bit frazzled.

Kiibo glances to Shuichi (who's been almost silent this whole time) for his half of the defense. Fuck it, now or never. He swiftly brings a hand up to Kiibo's cheek, pressing his lips against the opposite side of their face. It's… strange. It feels almost like human skin, but there's something distinctly different. Before Shuichi can put his finger on what, Kiibo gasps. their overheat alarm lets out an embarrassingly high pitched beep that echoes through the hallway, making Shuichi flinch as he pulls away.

"Huh!" Ouma seems genuinely surprised, stepping out of the way. "Guess you two are for realsies! Alright, catch ya later!" He giggles, skipping down the hall past a flustered Shuichi and a very, VERY flabbergasted Kiibo.

They continue walking, the Ultimate Robot staring straight ahead and walking further apart from their 'boyfriend.' "Erm… Sh-Shuichi, I'm… Sorry you had to do that, I know we discussed it, I know you're uncomfortable with-"

Shuichi chuckles, and Kiibo seems to relax like a weight has been taken off their shoulders. "It's alright, really. It was just the fastest way to get him to step off… And, um, it wasn't as mortifying as I thought it would be." He adjusts his cap again; _it was knocked askew by the kiss! I probably look like such a dork! This is so… so…_

Shuichi shakes those thoughts out as the two approach the door, filing into their seats as they wait for the professor. He checks his phone when it vibrates - as good a distraction as any, he supposes.

PinkPianist: ooohhh you two are blushing so hard!!!! spill deets!!!!

Great. Okay. Not a distraction, then.

BeTransSolveCrime: Really, Kaede, it's nothing. Just Ouma… being Ouma.

PinkPianist: hmm, nah, you're usually not that blushy about what he implies!! tell me what's really up!

BeTransSolveCrime: ...He wouldn't let us through the hall unless we 'proved' we were dating. So… Just to get him out of our hair, not for any other reason, I kissed Kiibo on the cheek.

PinkPianist: JAJSGSKAVSB

PinkPianist: don't say i didn't warn you, loverboy!!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: Kaede, I am this close to revoking your study partner rights.

PinkPianist: NOOO i need your help to pass science :(((

PinkPianist: fiiiine. but you owe me once it turns out i'm right!!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: I'm going to block you.

PinkPianist: you know you love me!!

BeTransSolveCrime: Fine. You're off the hook this time.

PinkPianist: :D

Across the room, Kiibo is doing much of the same thing -- though they're naturally more subtle about texting in class.

K1-B0: Kokichi Ouma!!! What was the meaning of that??

pantafucker69: whaaaat, isn't that what you wanted? Some liplock from emo boy over there?

K1-B0: We discussed this!! Shuichi is uncomfortable with kissing in public as a sign of affection! You could have ruined our bonding experience!

pantafucker69: but i didn't~! You're welcome, by the way - he never woulda given you that peck if not for me, nishishi!

K1-B0: I'm already this close to just giving up and telling him…

pantafucker69: then why dont you?? scared he'll reject your sorry robo-behind?

K1-B0: Yes! Very much so!

pantafucker69: then youve gotta woo him, dumbass!! lucky for you, i have an idea!

K1-B0: Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I did a poll on a dangan discord server and y'all voted for them to go on a KARAOKE DATE so like if Shuichi dies via ruptured eardrum it's your fault. You know who you are


	3. I’ve Got This Endless Sense of Dread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi and Kiibo go on a 'date.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer!!! Back to Kiibo POV, I'm probably gonna do alternating POV changing with every chapter. Considering upping my chapter goal, but I can't be sure til I finish. Anyway, enjoy pining! Lots of pining. So much pining.

Kiibo cannot stress enough how awful of an idea this is. It’s terrible. But if Ouma has a plan - which Kiibo does very much doubt at this point - it’s best to go along with it before he makes things worse just by existing in the vicinity. 

Speaking of said vicinity - how Shirogane got roped into this, they're not sure either. Ouma must’ve pulled SOME string, but now the two of them are flitting around Kiibo’s dorm as the ultimate robot tries on a variety of outfits that range from ‘black tie formal' to 'actual pajamas.' 

"Hmm, no, no, that outfit is far too simple! You look like a background character in a slice of life!" Kiibo lets out a sigh of resignation as she comments on the 35th (37th? They lost count a while ago, but whatever number it is) outfit of the afternoon. Kiibo already feels awkward enough having their usual 'armor' off - they're much more susceptible to external damage in this state, but… This is for Shuichi. They can do this. For Shuichi.

But yeah, they agree, a white tee and regular old jeans are like, way too basic. They're going on a date, not a commercial photoshoot! It's a shame they don't know much about fashion, because let's be honest, these two aren't much of a help either.

Huh. A date. How is it that such an insignificant 4 letter word can tug at their heartstrings so much?

"Kiiboy! I've got another one for you to try!" Kokichi cackles from the general direction of the closet, in that tone of voice that instantly tells Kiibo that whatever he's found, it's going to hurt their eyes. And that's quite a feat, considering they don't even have simulated pain receptors in that area.

Kiibo sighs, turning to gaze upon the most hideously fluorescent yellow jacket they've ever seen. "Absolutely not." Are the first words out of their mouth, vigorously shaking their head. They want to look good! Proper! It would be irresponsible if they showed up to such an important event with such awful casual wear!

"Oh! I've got it!" Shirogane springs up from her seat on Kiibo's bed, kneeling to rifle through one of the many boxes of clothes she's accumulated and brought here.

She pulls out a bright teal knee-length dress with a white polka dot pattern, round poofy sleeves, and a buttoned collar. Modest, but playful. Kiibo walks over and slips it on over their head, twirling in place to watch the skirt billow in the air around them.

"It's perfect."

Kiibo stands in front of the door, back pressed up against the wall of the building as they scan the block for any sign of Saihara. He didn't stand them up, did he…? No, no, he's not the type, he wouldn't - but that dread pools in Kiibo's head as the minutes tick by. It's beginning to sprinkle a bit, so they're at least glad they didn't pick an outdoors location for their 'date.' Not that a karaoke date is much better - but Ouma suggested it, and Kiibo did somewhat recently have another checkup with Miu where they asked their singing voice to be improved, so they do hope she followed through on that. For Shuichi's sake. 

This entire 'date' was proposed to Saihara by Kiibo to accomplish three things, only two of which they told him. One; it gives them a believable story to tell if anyone asks about dates. Two; it's quite common for couples to come to this place in particular, so they can get a sense of how to believably act like one. And finally, the one they're keeping to themself; to bond with Shuichi, getting one step closer to confessing their true feelings.

What if Miu didn't follow up on the upgrade…? What if Kiibo ruins the night with their singing? What if Shuichi never shows up? What if he's gotten lost, or stuck in traffic? Or what if he-

Those anxious thoughts are washed away into the quickly-forming puddles when they see Shuichi dart around a corner, past a few pedestrians with muttered cries of "Sorry!" and "Scuse me!"

"Kiibo!" He calls out as he finally reaches the building, carding a hand through his hair and huffing like he just ran a marathon. "S-So sorry I'm late, I had Momota drop me off but he couldn't find anywhere to park and had to go a few blocks away and I didn't have an umbrella so he…" He continues rambling on as Kiibo tunes out, instead choosing to look Saihara up and down.

He's wearing plain black dress pants and a pale blue button-up shirt, with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. His tie is a deep navy blue, almost the same color has his hair, which is in turn dampened by the rain. Ah, he's not wearing his hat, either. If Kiibo recalls properly, he only does that with people he trusts; they try not to swell with pride at the thought.

"-So yeah, um, that's why I'm never trusting Kaito to drive me again." He nervously laughs, making eye contact to gauge Kiibo's reaction. Ah. Ah! Quick, respond!

"You look great." Oh, great job, Kiibo. Definitely the response he was looking for. The robot flushes a light aquamarine when they realize what they've just said.

It's hard to tell if Shuichi's face mirroring the blush in red is from being winded, or from the compliment. "Erm… Th-thank you. You too. Um, shall we…?" He grabs hold of the door and holds it open for Kiibo, using the other hand to grasp for a brim that isn't there.

Kiibo nods and steps inside, almost instantly overwhelmed by the arrays of neon lights inside. They had the foresight to reserve a room beforehand, so getting checked in isn't much of a hassle. They thank the receptionist as she hands the two a key card and points them in the direction of their room.

Once the two sit down inside, Kiibo begins to browse the list of songs. Is there anything here they know well…? Or… 

"Shuichi, would you like to choose a song first? I'm eager to see what you select!"

"Ah? Um, s-sure, alright." Ahh, that's better. Now Kiibo props their chin on their hands, leaning over the table as they watch Shuichi's face as he goes over the options. Kiibo thinks human expressiveness is remarkable, especially Shuichi's range of emotion; the way the outer corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles, or when he's thinking too hard about something and the space between his downturned eyebrows wrinkles together. The tiniest imperfections are even better. The almost miniscule gaps between his teeth, small dots and scars from long since gone acne, the slightest fuzz of hair on his cheeks…

"-ibo? Hello? Are you buffering today?" They snap back to attention to see Shuichi eying them with concern. He's gripping one of the microphones in his hands, frowning with worry over his date. "Oh, good, sorry about that. Um… Ready for me to start?"

Kiibo blankly nods, too busy fighting down the embarrassment to articulate words and explain themself. Two times… That marks two times they've spaced out to stare at Shuichi already, and they haven't even been here for a half hour! Kiibo makes a mental note to get a new hobby other than 'staring at Shuichi Saihara.'

But when Shuichi starts singing, that notion is thrown out the window. If Kiibo had lungs, they swear they’d be catching their breath. He’s not great - no, no cheesy romantic tropes with him having the voice of an angel or something, but… Kiibo realizes they’ve never heard him sing. His voice is shaky, a little bit strained, but it’s soft. Pleasant, even. Kiibo’s judgement may be just a tad clouded by their crush. Shuichi keeps glancing up at him a silent plead of ‘am I doing good?’ and Kiibo nods, encouraging him to go on.

They sit like this for a while, giggling over each other's attempts at harmonizing (Kiibo's are worse. Miu tried her best, but their voice is still prone to feedback and screechy sounds.) Kiibo can't help but feel like they're dangerously, dangerously close to blurring the line between fake dating and real dating.

It winds down, as most dates tend to do - they laugh and joke on their way out, nudging shoulders, exchanging flushed glances. Kiibo waves goodbye, beginning to walk back to the dorms with a spring in their step. 

Shuichi, on the other hand, whips out his phone.

BeTransSolveCrime: Hey Kaede.

PinkPianist: oh!! hey Shuichi! how was the date?

BeTransSolveCrime: It went… well. Too well.

PinkPianist: oh???? OH??????????

BeTransSolveCrime: I’m… Beginning to think Kiibo may have lied to me.

PinkPianist: whaaat???? that’s totally not like them!! what makes you think that???

BeTransSolveCrime: They seemed… Really out of it today. Kept looking at me silently…

BeTransSolveCrime: You’re right, I’m probably making this up. They were probably just thinking and staring off into space. I do that all the time.

PinkPianist: you know, maybe that’s your brain trying to tell you somethiiiing~

BeTransSolveCrime: Like what? Enlighten me.

PinkPianist: if you’re subconsciously wanting them to stare at you… well, you know ;)

BeTransSolveCrime: KAEDE!!!!!!

PinkPianist: admit it!!!! you’re in deniaaaalll!!!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: ...Okay, maybe they… Did look pretty cute today.

BeTransSolveCrime: And. They… Said I looked nice, and I…

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh no.

PinkPianist: ASDHJGFJSAKSADGSMDAJ!!!!!!!!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: That doesn’t mean anything!!! It’s a totally expected reaction to flattery!!!

PinkPianist: SHUICHIIII I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!! AWWW I KNEW YOU’D FALL IN LOVE SOMEDAY!!

BeTransSolveCrime: You’re impossible.

PinkPianist: thank you, i try <3

PinkPianist: c’mon now, go get ‘em, tiger!!!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: Absolutely not!!! I don’t even know if they reciprocate!

PinkPianist: SO YOU DO ADMIT IT!!!

BeTransSolveCrime: ….Okay, fine, yeah, MAYBE I do. I don’t have enough information to reach a conclusion yet.

PinkPianist: whatever you say romeo <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi you dense motherfucke-


	4. Do You Truly Want Me to Tell You Everything?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saihara uncovers a secret and makes up his mind. Kiibo, (un)fortunately, does the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it!!! The climax of the fic!!! Probably!!! Thank you all so much for reading and stay tuned for chapter 5!!!!

It's been nagging at Shuichi ever since that 'date.' It's been weeks, and yet his mind keeps trailing back to one question:

What is Kiibo hiding?

The karaoke date provides some evidence, but not much. Kiibo seemed somewhat distracted, which could have any number of reasons. In addition, they insisted that Shuichi sing the majority of songs they had time for. Not all too suspicious - maybe they were simply apprehensive of Iruma's supposed 'upgrades' to their vocal bank (which were actually quite impressive; a major step up from Kiibo's old, screechy singing voice. He'll have to thank her for that later.)

His mind keeps jumping to the conclusion that Kiibo _likes_ him, but Shuichi shakes his head and turns back to the corkboard in his room.

…He's such a dork. Oh my god. He put up an entire corkboard array, complete with sticky notes and red string, to determine whether Kiibo is crushing on him. He really does have it bad, doesn't he? Shuichi grumbles under his breath, remembering how overly enthusiastic Kaede was when they crossed paths in the hall the next morning. He swears he can still feel that massive bear hug gripping around his thin arms, accompanied with a shout of "I _totally_ told you!"

Anyway, where was he? Ah, right, the investigation.

Another suspicious occurrence Shuichi hasn't been able to nail down his unease over - the encounter with Kokichi Ouma he's lovingly dubbed 'the hallway incident.' How did word spread to Ouma they were (fake, fake, it's _fake,)_ dating? Based on their reaction, it seems unlikely that Kiibo told him, and he can't imagine Kaede letting it slip… 

But the entire point of 'dating' this was to show Ouma Kiibo had the capacity of love (as much as that hurts Shuichi to think, now that he knows how he feels,) wasn't it? So why wouldn't Kiibo tell him? Then the panicked response must have been for some other reason… 

No.

There's no way.

It lines up, though - his insistence on seeing the two kiss, his unnaturally pushy behavior, his opening the 'conversation' with talk of the two dating, directing all taunts at Kiibo alone…

Kiibo's insistence the two are dating, considerable (adorable) blushing, and betrayed-sounding stutters… Ouma has been in on it this whole time, hasn't he? He's an accomplice. Making the culprit… Kiibo.

But why? Why, why, why? What would possess Kiibo to…

It clicks not a moment too soon. If… then… Shuichi has to find Kiibo. His heart is racing a mile a minute as he opens his messaging app.

BeTransSolveCrime: Ouma. We need to talk.

pantafucker69: ohoHOHO???? shuichi saihara??? come to arrest me once and for all???

BeTransSolveCrime: Can we not do this right now? This is important.

pantafucker69: okay i'll bite whats crackalackin

BeTransSolveCrime: I know you were in on the fake dating scheme. Where is Kiibo?

pantafucker69: lol i warned them the ultimate detective would see thru it. they're such a bad liar 😂

BeTransSolveCrime: Ouma. Please. 

pantafucker69: i dunnooooo….. i was specifically asked not 2 tell u………

BeTransSolveCrime: Ugh. Will it convince you if I said it's because I need to tell them how I feel?

pantafucker69: wait u fr like them back???

BeTransSolveCrime: Yeah. I do. And I need to let them know.

pantafucker69: shit. i owe kayayday now

BeTransSolveCrime: You're kidding me.

pantafucker69: anyway theyre out getting u gifts!! what a coinkydink, they were planning on confessing to you too!!

BeTransSolveCrime: WHAT

pantafucker69: lol dont tell me you didnt know they were crushing on you hardcore

pantafucker69: or maybe thats a lie! who knooooows

BeTransSolveCrime: No, no, I picked up on that. But - you mean they're planning on it now??? Today???

pantafucker69: far as im aware yea

pantafucker69: oop! yep just got a text from them sayin theyre on their way 2 your place

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh God, okay, I have to take down my corkboard.

pantafucker69: whats wrong with the dumb detective board?????

BeTransSolveCrime: Nothing. Forget it.

pantafucker69: alright shu shu, just remember the walls r thin and im like right next to u so dont get too loud ;)

Shuichi doesn't dignify that joke with a response. Shit. Shit. Kiibo is coming? Here? And they're going to… His face burns red the more he thinks about it. He can't help but feel giddy. If Ouma is telling the truth (which, for once in Shuichi's life, he believes: Ouma isn't that cruel. Pranks are only funny when the victim laughs, too, and this isn't something Shuichi would laugh at.) They can do this. Just… just…

A knock sounds at the door, not waiting for him to finish that train of thought. Now or never.

He opens the door slowly…

Only to be met with a shaking, whimpering Kiibo that quickly clasps their hands together and begins to speak. Their cracking, raspy voice almost sounds too human.

"S-Shuichi, I-" They start, taking one glance at his reddened face before continuing. "I know this is sudden, but… I… Y-You- I can't do this!" The shield around their collar comes up to block the lower half of their face as they let out a pathetic sob.

"Hey, hey, Kiibo, it's okay. C-Come inside, alright? Why don't you sit down on the bed, I'll be right behind you." Shuichi quickly ushers the robot inside, heart clenching as they take a shaky seat. He sits down beside them, pausing for a moment before reaching over to rub calming circles into their back. If… That’s comforting for robots. Shuichi doesn’t know if it is, but he’s trying his best. 

“Do you mind telling me what’s wrong?” Shuichi feels his own voice begin to waver. What if Ouma was lying after all? What if this is Kiibo coming to break up with him? What if he misread the signs, all those signs that Kiibo was actually pining after someone else - using these dates as excuses to make them jealous, to use Shuichi as a decoy, to play with his heart-

“I think I’m in love with you, Shuichi Saihara.”


	5. Your Heartstrings Lulled and Deftly Pulled (I’ve Caught A Shooting Star)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo and Shuichi stumble through a poorly timed confession on both ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all (hopefully) been waiting for!!! Thank you all SO MUCH for reading, this was really my first foray into serious fic writing, and it's been so much fun to put it all out into the world!!

Shuichi blinks.

And blinks again.

Kiibo is worried for a moment, watching the detective with bated breath. If he doesn’t reciprocate - the worst possible scenario - they’ve just completely decimated their friendship. Who would ever want to stay friends with someone who so pathetically stumbled into their room, sniffling out a confession as if it were their last words?

“What?”

It’s less of a question, and more of a buffer to the awkward silence blanketing the room. Even Kiibo can detect that. They don’t have enough information to deduce the emotion behind it - Disgust? Hope? Confusion?

“I-I know… This is completely out of line for me… I should have been honest with you from the start about my true intentions, Shui- S-Saihara.”

"So… This isn't fake."

Kiibo shakes their head no, keeping their gaze directed toward the floor. Even without looking up at him, they can imagine his face. The adorable little pout he does when lost in thought, bringing a hand up to his chin, a small half-hum so as not to startle the robot.

"And… How long have you felt like this?" His tone, again, unreadable - and it’s driving Kiibo mad.

"Since… Long before we even began the fake dating. I'm so sorry, I-" Kiibo's sentence is cut off with a far-too-realistic sounding sob. They half-regret having a crying function installed. "I-I didn't mean to take advantage of you, I just… Wanted to know what it would be like. Even if… You don't reciprocate."

Shuichi… Laughs? He laughs? Why is he laughing, is he - _oh, he's laughing at how foolish I am,_ Kiibo thinks. _How terrible I am for tricking him like this._

"Kiibo, in the nicest way possible, you're an awful liar. I suspected your story wasn't true by the end of our first date." He reaches over and squeezes Kiibo's hand in his own, causing the robot's gaze to snap up and meet his. "There's no way Ouma would be so obvious in matchmaking endeavors if he really didn't think you had the capability of love."

"B-But-"

"I’m not mad at you. And besides," Shuichi's hand moves up so he's touching one of Kiibo's cheeks, dragging his thumb across the surface to wipe artificial tears away. "Who said I didn't reciprocate?"

Kiibo feels their nonexistent heart stop in their chest for a moment. He…. Does? He does feel the same way? Their mouth hangs loosely open, as if they’re about to come some witty response to make Shuichi swoon into their arms, but they aren't. 

Instead, it’s their turn to idly respond with a “What?”

“I want to show you something.” Shuichi stands up and _smirks,_ and oh goodness Kiibo is weak. Shuichi is extraordinarily pretty when he has that glint of confidence in his eye; the one he gets whenever he’s finally nailed down the final puzzle piece in a big case.

He stands up and walks over to some sort of wooden frame that seemed to be leaning up against his bookcase, hastily shoved to the side. Shuichi tilts it over, and Kiibo feels themself beginning to overheat yet again when they realize exactly what this corkboard is showing.

Several candid pictures of them, in hallways, around town - talking to Ouma and making plans, buying gifts for Saihara, placing them in front of his door anonymously - everything they thought they had kept so well hidden since the first date just under 2 weeks ago, connected by red threads, thumbtacks, and hearts scrawled in the margins. Shuichi shuffles over to the side to let them see it, tugging his hat off of his head to hold it in front of his mouth.

“How…? How did you…?” Kiibo mutters in gobsmacked fascination, scanning every individual connection Shuichi has meticulously pieced together.

Shuichi hums under his breath, coming back to sit next to Kiibo on the bed, bumping their shoulders. Kiibo feels an embarrassing jolt of energy from the point of contact, causing them to shiver slightly.

“I’m the Ultimate Detective, remember? If it, um, makes you feel any better,” He sets his hat down to the side, turning to face Kiibo. He slowly reaches up, gliding a hand across their face to tuck a lock of synthetic hair back in place. “I think this case was the cutest case I’ve ever had the honor of solving.”

...Ah. Ah! No no no! This isn’t fair, how can he be this charming all of a sudden?! Not that he isn’t charming every day, but this is ridiculous! Kiibo can’t deal with this! They let out a high pitched beep, but this time it doesn’t faze Shuichi at all. In fact, he chuckles at that too, as if he was expecting it. Damn it! This is humiliating for Kiibo!

Their sensors prickle with the heat of skin as Shuichi brings his other arm up, cupping both cheeks in their hands and holding Kiibo’s head like it’s the most precious thing in the world. The robot’s mind is going fuzzy because of the processing power required to keep up with how quickly everything is happening.

"Um, is it - is it alright if I… Kiss you?" He mumbles apprehensively. Under his long lashes, Shuichi's eyes flicker up from Kiibo's lips to meet their stare. His tongue sticks out, just for a brief moment, and that tiny gesture is enough to make Kiibo almost shut down.

All they can do is nod vigorously.

And faster than they can register Shuichi moving in, they’re kissing. It is… an odd sensation. They know that there's no way their AI can accurately replicate such a uniquely human experience, but it's so sudden and overwhelming and it completely ignores everything Kiibo was taught to expect. Even though it's messy and their noses keep hitting each other, even though Shuichi keeps puckering too much, even though neither of them knows how to move their lips, even though Shuichi's are dry and chapped, even though Kiibo's are synthetic and cold - It's imperfect, and that makes it real, and that sends Kiibo's chest aflutter in a way they weren't even aware was possible.

Kiibo's hands wander up to Shuichi's waist, resting gently right there, and just as quickly as it began, it's over. The detective, pulling back for air (Kiibo almost forgot humans have to _breathe)_ allows his eyes to slowly open again, groggy with the simple drunken stupor of an awkward, inexperienced, completely awful kiss - and he's beaming. Grinning from ear to ear like that wasn't the most mortifying 10 seconds of his life. 

Kiibo doesn't need to be human to feel that Shuichi's hands are trembling and clammy against their cheeks. His ears burn the same uncomfortable-looking shade of scarlet as the rest of his face, all topped off with increasingly dilated pupils and a heightened rate of breathing. 

"I-I'm sorry, that was really bad, haha..." In one fell swoop, Saihara has gone from confident, suave, and analytical to a stuttery mess, pulling his hands away from Kiibo’s face and wiping the sweat off on his pant legs. "Well, it was sort of… Er, my… first." He laughs airily, at himself this time, bringing a finger to trace his lower lip.

Kiibo almost feels awful for stealing it. Almost. They're far too content to actually express real guilt right now. "No, no, Shuichi, do not apologize! It was… wonderful." they lazily smile back, taking in just how gorgeous the human's eyes are, piercing silver and gold that has gone from sharp and striking to soft and soothing.

The two sit there in silence for an eternity, both needing time to file away and process what just happened.

"Can we… do it again? I sort of fucked it up." Shuichi finally breaks the tension, snaking his arms back up so they hook around and behind Kiibo's neck armor.

“O-Of course, Shuichi.” Kiibo hesitates for a moment, thumbs idly caressing Shuichi’s sides before speaking again. “Could I… Ask you to… Be my boyfriend, now?”

“...You could.” Shuichi tilts his head to the side, giving them puppy dog eyes that would make even a robot’s heart melt.

“Alright then. Shuichi Saihara, will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

“Okay. Yeah, I’ll do it. I can do that for you.”

His lips taste even sweeter the second time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm strongly considering writing an epilogue chapter to all this, so if you'd be interested in something like that, please let me know in the comments below!! I know I've said it a million times already, but thank you thank you THANK YOU for making this possible with all your support!!! <3


	6. A Wonder to the Universe, You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiibo and Shuichi go on their first 'real' date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [shows up months late with an epilogue and starbucks] hey
> 
> ANYWAY aaaa!!!! finally!!!! this has been plaguing me for SO long and it feels amazing to finally get it done!!! Thank you so so much for reading, even though I've said it a thousand times!!! I hope you enjoy the epilogue!!!

“Shuichi.”

“I-I know, it’s a stupid thing to worry about, but just - work with me here, Kaede, you know this is way different-”

_“Shuichi.”_

“Like, sure, I’ve technically gone on dates with them before, but I thought they were fake, so I wasn’t taking those as seriously as I should’ve been, and I’m worried that they’ll think I’m-”

 _“Shuichi Saihara!”_ The blonde hollers, clamping her hands over the detective’s shoulders and causing him to startle. “Look at me. It’s going to be fine! I’m sure whatever happens, they’ll understand, okay?” She tries to comfort him with a smile, chuckling under her breath when he responds by moving a hand up to tug at a nonexistent brim.

"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure you're right." Shuichi mutters back, watching as Kaede adjusts bits of his jacket and fiddles with the buttons. It’s no big deal! Well, it kind of is. This is their first date as a real couple, no falsehoods or denial involved. Ah! Goodness, Shuichi still can’t believe that really happened. He remembers the way Kiibo looked at him like he was the only thing that mattered to them, how their hands felt so… So right around his waist, their hair tickling his forehead when their lips finally-

“Earth to Shuichi!” He’s unceremoniously yanked out of his memories with a swift tug to the sleeve, “Don’t tell me you’re already daydreaming about your partner!” She huffs, but it quickly turns into a grin as she sees his rapidly flushing face.

“S-Sorry, I can’t help it.” He hides his dopey smile behind a hand as Kaede tsks, taking his arm and ushering him towards the door. “They just linger on my mind like that, you know?”

“Oh, shut up, Romeo.” She rolls her eyes sarcastically as she nudges his side with an elbow, causing Shuichi to squeal and shrink back in a giggle fit. “I swear, ever since you two got together, you’ve gone all mushy on me!”

"What can I say? They've made me a hopeless romantic." Shuichi sighs dreamily. It's quite true - considering most of what Kiibo had already learned about romance was from popular media, it's to be expected that their understanding and ideas surrounding the topic are… Rather cheesy.

Kiibo expressed a bit of disappointment that most traditional dates involve meals of some sort, seeing as they can't eat (yet) - so they settled for something more focused on the activities side. Shuichi was… uh, not entirely surprised when Kiibo suggested they go to a movie together. Of course they would spring for a movie date, that's like… the most stereotypical thing Shuichi can think of when it comes to dates, aside from like… well, nothing, really.

Kaede sticks her tongue out between the teeth of her continuing grin. "Alrighty then, you go knock their socks off! I expect all the cutesy-wootsy details when you get back!"

Shuichi is about to protest - it's just a trip to the theater, he isn't aiming to make Kiibo swoon or impress them, really - when a hat is shoved on his head and the door is shut in his face unceremoniously. Can't fault Kaede for being excited, can he?

His phone pings in his pocket, where he quickly goes to take it out.

K1-B0: I'm on my way! 

BeTransSolveCrime: Oh, I was just about to head out!

BeTransSolveCrime: I'll see you there.

K1-B0: Understood! I'm quite excited…

K1-B0: Ah, and one more thing!

BeTransSolveCrime: Hm?

K1-B0: I love you, Shuichi!

Ugh! _Ugh!!!!_ Shuichi hates the way his face flares with heat at such a small message. Just reading it makes him all giddy.

BeTransSolveCrime: I love you too.

One thing Shuichi has learned - Kiibo is incredibly verbally affectionate. He can barely go one conversation without Kiibo reaffirming that they love Shuichi, or how pretty they think he is - and it makes the detective melt every time. Sure, they might both be riding the high of the relationship's honeymoon phase, but Shuichi finds he really, _really_ doesn't mind the gushing. So, uh, add words of affirmation to Shuichi's love languages.

Ah! Right, right, Shuichi has to get going if he wants to catch the next bus. He picks up the pace, speedwalking out of the dorm building and towards the stop.

When he arrives at the theater, Kiibo is already there outside the front doors waiting for him. They aren't wearing their armor this time - Shuichi definitely isn't complaining about that. Even under the large hoodie they're wearing, Kiibo is surprisingly petite when compared to their usual fully-plated appearance. The hoodie is SO big on them, oh my god, that's adorable. This should be illegal.

"Hi," Shuichi mumbles, suddenly feeling very overdressed in his jacket and dress pants. "You, um… You look cute."

Kiibo grins, and even though they're in public, Shuichi just wants to pepper their face with kisses. "Thank you!" They pridefully puff their chest out, one of Shuichi's favorite mannerisms of theirs, "You look quite handsome yourself!"

Shuichi stammers for a moment, searching for the words to respond. "I, uh… Thanks. Should we… Head in?" He offers out his hand silently, letting a smile creep onto his face when Kiibo takes it and nods without a word.

The detective almost doesn't stop by the concessions (you know, he didn't want Kiibo to feel left out,) but when they insisted that popcorn was an integral part of any movie date with _that_ pout? There's no way Shuichi could've said no.

And that's what brings them to their seats, Shuichi balancing a small tub of popcorn on his lap while Kiibo is entranced by the trailers. The movie hasn't even started yet and they're already glued to the screen… Cute.

Saihara hesitates for a moment - is it too early, or…? Yeah, definitely too early to… Do that. He can wait. At least until the movie starts, right?

It’s some sort of silly, predictable romcom - the lead is a fairly attractive woman who just happens to stumble upon an equally pretty guy, and the entire movie… Revolves around the miscommunications and antics that they get involved in trying to romance each other. Shuichi can’t help but see the irony already. There’s even a comedic best friend character that eggs the protagonist on and tries to set them up for success… Did Kiibo do this on purpose, or did they just not know?! He really, really hopes it’s the latter, or else this’ll be doubly embarrassing.

Oh! That’s right, he wanted to try something. He casually puts his arm on the armrest between him and the robot, palm up and hand open.

...Kiibo is too fixated on the movie to even notice. Okay, cool. That’s fine, he just has to… Nudge his arm a little closer, maybe ‘accidentally’ knock their shoulders a little. H-He can do that, no problem! No problem. If it’s no problem, why does he keep freezing up when he goes to do it?! Ahh, come on Saihara, now is not the time to chicken out! It’s just holding hands! In a movie theater! This is, like, a super normal thing!

He jumps and stifles a squeak when he feels Kiibo take his hand, coming back to his senses to see them looking back at him with a playful grin.

...Oh. Oh no, was… Yeah, he’s been staring this whole time! Ah! That’s even worse! He immediately darts his eyes back to the screen, which is obviously a worse idea, because the two leads are kissing now, and that just makes his cheeks even redder. Shuichi is incredibly thankful they decided to sit further back in the theater, because he’d feel _really_ bad if someone was sitting behind him and had to watch him fussing with his hat over and over.

He hears Kiibo snicker quietly, scooting closer and pressing a peck to his cheek. Since when did they get so smooth?! He turns to look at them incredulously, and realizes just a second too late that they're going to be _that_ annoying couple, aren't they? You know, the ones that get all giggly and lovey-dovey during the movie, subjecting everyone else in the vicinity to their over the top affection? Yeah, they're that couple now.

Shuichi can't say he minds, though, when his eyes flutter shut and Kiibo's nose nudges his own before their lips meet. It's embarrassing, exaggerated, and it tastes like popcorn. It's nothing grand - not even particularly dramatic - but it's just as tender and warm as he remembers their first being. Once they break, Kiibo sheepishly smiles and turns back to the movie. They seem to be hiding the tint to their own cheeks by leaning their head on Shuichi's shoulder and becoming enraptured once again by the swelling orchestral soundtrack. The aforementioned detective is too busy fighting down his giddiness to even try and pay attention to the film. He thinks, maybe, if they were in a hallmark movie of their own - this is where they would fade out into credits, snuggled up close, silently enjoying each other's presence with their hands intertwined.

(When he retells the story later, Kaede whines something about owing money to Miu Iruma.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: I just HAD to throw in the song that inspired this fic - which is also where I got all of my chapter titles!!! Huge shout out to Oktavia for the translyrics and inspiration!!!
> 
> https://youtu.be/gCa0T_EIfmc
> 
> Edit 2: ASKDJHSDAJKA OVER 1000 HITS AND 100 KUDOS??? OH MY GOD THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH I NEVER THOUGHT MY SELF INDULGENT LITTLE SAIIBO FIC WOULD'VE GOTTEN THIS MUCH ATTENTION AAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU


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